I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
These tits shall not be calmed
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
