YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
