This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
