Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
