sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
