Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's blow job season.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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