member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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