After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I love you. Go after that dick
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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