We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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