just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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