You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
