What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
