just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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