woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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