Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
