i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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