I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
