Kiss
Puke
You're so nebulous sometimes
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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