I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
