omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
