I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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