don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
