Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
