He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
