i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
