Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
