just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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