I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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