Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
