come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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