So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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