a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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