also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
