I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
