HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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