Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
