BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
