I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
