Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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