I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
