if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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