Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
