Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
