If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
