Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
