1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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