He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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