I love black thongs
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
