just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
