I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
